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Long ago, the Dark Lord Dredmor was bound in the darkest dungeons beneath the earth by great and mighty heroes. Centuries later, the magical bonds that hold him in place are loosening and his power grows ever stronger. The land cries out for a new hero, a powerful warrior or a mystic wizard like those spoken of in the prophecies of yore.

What they have, unfortunately, is you…

Let’s face it. Nobody’s going to try to pass your car on the Autobahn if they see Lord Dredmor’s steely visage stuck to your bumper. Nobody’s going to try to open your security briefcase if it’s covered in Diggles. Why? Because Diggles will Mess You Up, and people know this. They just know.

The Ancient Glyph of Lutefisk, encrusted on this shirt by our traditional Dwarven crustsmiths, guarantees that the bearer shall be blessed with the Lutefisk God’s fishy, gelatinous, lye-infused, and squelchy blessings.

You lucky person.

The Diggle: a small, bird-shaped animal that runs about in the Dungeons of Dredmor, tunnelling through walls with its odd, slightly rubbery nasal appliance. Most ornithologists, or at least those that specialize in Minion Studies, believe that not only do Diggles not like you very much, but that they are basically the worst minions ever.

Put a little Diggle in your life today.