April 1st, 2014 — Gaslamp Games, Inc., independant game developers and makers of the critically acclaimed Dungeons of Dredmor, formerly deep in production on Clockwork Empires, are pleased to announce an exciting new direction for the studio. “The future of gaming is here,” said Gaslamp Games Technical Director Nicholas Vining, pausing a moment to pull a slug of whiskey. “We’re going to build VR the indie way.”
Fully embracing cross-platform compatibility, the GASLAMP VR development prototype rig is carefully constructed from three iPhones and an Android. “The Busted Up Old iPad Taped To Your Arm peripheral is a feature we’ve been exploring for the so-called ‘power-users’ I’ve been hearing so much about on the ‘information superhighway’ ” explained Gaslamp Games CEO / Studio Director Daniel “Burning Hand” Jacobsen as he stroked a perfectly white Persian cat. “We decided that market disruption required a radical pivot to synergizing our core competencies with partners in cloud space,” he continued, addressing a corner of the office filled with stacks of shipping foam and a sad-looking umbrella.
The First Launch Title for GASLAMP VR
“It turns out that people just hate cogs, they really hate cogs, so the whole steampunk thing had to go,” says Gaslamp Games Art Director David “Mad Dog” Baumgart, pausing for effect so long that it took an uncomfortable cough to prompt him to continue, “But our research shows that people love realistic geology simulations.”
Gaslamp Games is proud to announce that it has switched gears (as it were) toward developing the exclusive GASLAMP VR launch title Hematite Empires, Malachite Dreams: Chthonic Descent.
Hematite Empires, Malachite Dreams: Chthonic Descent will be the premier first-person roguelike VR action-adventure-geology simulator.
Art Director David Baumgart explains further: “We’re working on what we think will be the breakthrough in procedural volcanogenic massive sulfide ore deposit generation that Indie Gaming has been striving for all these years, but we can’t quite get the subvolcanic granite intrusions right. It’s a really exciting time to be a game developer.”
A gallery of pre-alpha screenshots has been released to the press, but it should be noted that the lighting engine hasn’t been coded yet. Nonetheless Gaslamp is confident of pushing the bleeding edge with the most realistic rendering of the experience of giddily exploring the underground wonders of the Earth.
“I think Gaslamp Games is really about bringing imagination to life.” said Technical Director Nicholas Vining from the floor of the Gaslamp Games Vancouver Studio, “Meet me afterward in the washroom and I’ll tell you about this weird dream I had at GDC.”
“Nicholas, the press event has been over for several hours.” chided Gaslamp Games CEO Daniel Jacobsen. “You have to go home so the cleaning staff can do their job.”
“And you, stop writing in that little book and get out of here before I call the cops.” he concluded.
I’m glad to see that Oculus Rift will have some serious competition!
Don’t forget the cross-media opportunities. This would make for an excellent “Magic Eye” book installment.
Two days since the last musical number. Should I be disappointed?
I don’t understand how you’re going to monetize this.
Those visuals are so stunningly vivid, I think I’ve been struck blind.
Yes. Please publish the high-resolution versions!
The granite intrusions really aren’t that bad (nothing a layman would notice), but from those screenshots it’s obvious you haven’t got the first clue about how sulfide ore deposits work in the real world, and that’s the kind of thing that will totally ruin immersion.
Clearly you are using the wrong kind of whiskey and/or cats.
Your best bet at this stage is to try and find someone at Twitter with a couple of billion dollars to burn, feed them as much of that sub-standard whiskey as you can spare, and hope for a miracle…
I swear to the Lutefisk God these posts are going to be the hilarity-based death of me one day. Please don’t ever stop.
I think someone set the brightness values of those images to be far too low.
High. Far too _high_.
I wonder if the Gaslamp developers will be having the tape included, or if we will have to supply it ourselves.